Paper Bowser: Revenge of the Mad Koopa
by Marshmallow452
Summary: "And Mario, if you did think I ever loved you, then I swear, I will kill you. Because the only one I love is my Bowser."
1. Welcome to the Simulation!

**WELCOME TO THE SIMULATION!**

The four words blared in the back of Luigi's head.

"Ugh..."

He suddenly realized he was lying on a hard, cold stone floor. Lifting himself into a sitting position, he also realized that the words were not in his head, but on a black screen directly in front of him.

**WELCOME TO THE SIMULATION!**

Where was he? The last thing he remembered was going to the movies with Daisy, but...

_Daisy._

Where was she? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let something happen to her.

But then...

Wasn't Daisy the one who had tackled him to the floor? Who had hit him hard enough to make his neck bleed? Who hit him hard enough to make him go under? That was the last he remembered before he woke up...

**WELCOME TO THE SIMULATION!**

No, no. His memory was faulty. Why in the world did Daisy do a thing like that? Luigi already knew that Daisy could tackle him to the ground without even trying, but she wouldn't do something like that.

His neck was bleeding.

**"WELCOME TO THE SIMULATION! And would you hurry up? I'm only being payed minimum wage for this."**

"Hmm? Who are you?" Luigi let out another groan as he got to his feet. The screen seemed to watch.

**"I'm a friggin' simulation tester person."**

"But where am I?"

**"You're in a friggin' simulation testing thing. Now press the friggin' A Button to jump and Control- I mean use your friggin' feet to run and jump.** **Get to the end of the friggin' simulation as fast as you friggin' can."**

"And why should I?" Luigi inquired.

**"Because, because... because... Princess Daisy is at the end. Now go get the friggin' princess as fast as you friggin' can."**

Desperate and confused, Luigi began trudging through the... castle? It definitely had the same architectural design as one of Bowser's castles.

So where was he?

Luigi began running across the strange, deserted castle.

_Daisy. He had to find Daisy._

And if he didn't... Luigi told himself that everyone would die if he didn't, just to keep himself going. He tried to concentrate on finding Daisy.

And then he reached a dark red door. Which he opened.

And Daisy was not there. When he tried to open the door again to leave, it was locked. He sighed, and turned around to look at his surroundings, which was just a long gray hallway with a room.

And then it hit him.

There was something bad at the end of the hallway. A koopa, or a monster. He was in a boss room. He knew he had to fight whatever was in there to get Daisy, and that was that. He checked his storage. Yes, a fire flower was still there. So he walked into the room, which was plainly a huge block of ice that he was walking on.

"Hello? Daisy? Anyone?"

One of Bowser's children loved winter and ice. But who...

Luigi heard a loud clang from behind him, and turned around to see the entrance was blocked.

"Hello? Daisy?" Luigi yelled.

"Hahaha... hello, dear Luigi!" A voice rang from behind him, trying to sound like Daisy's.

"Lemmy Koopa!" Luigi yelled as he turned to face his attacker.

"Romance is... gross. A waste of time, anyway." Lemmy shook his magic wand, and a yellow ball appeared underneath. "Let's play a game!" he cheered, and swung his wand. Another yellow ball emerged from it, and hit Luigi in the face.

He fell over, and almost forgot he was on ice. He nearly slipped of the block.

"Haha, Luigi's on his face! Luigi's on his face!" Lemmy sang as he cast another ball at him.

This time, Luigi was ready, and he jumped, missing the ball. Lemmy's face turned red with rage. "THAT'S CHEATING!" Lemmy screamed, almost falling off the ball. "You'll see what I do to cheaters!"

But Luigi was fast. Getting to his feet, he made a huge leap and landed on Lemmy's face. "And that's what I do to clowns," he said, hands on his hips.

Lemmy retreated into his shell, his face still swelling with rage. Luigi was expecting this, and dodged his shell as he came toward him.

Suddenly, the room expanded, and huge ball launching machines were revealed, mounted on the wall.

"I got my big brother to do this. Iggy's a master at machines," snorted Lemmy. All the machines prepared their ammunition and launched the circus balls. Somehow, Luigi managed to dodge all of these, and landed on Lemmy's face again. But Lemmy didn't retreat to his shell; he started dancing in a fit of anger, and the room expanded even more. All the walls and backround turned to a bright neon pink, and the ice melted into lava. The ball launchers also went mad, launching balls in a pattern the resembled falling stairs.

Luigi leaped off the ice at the last minute, and balanced himself on the falling staircase of balls. Lemmy was bouncing from ball to ball in a fashion that looked like he had been doing this all his life. Lemmy now cast flaming circus balls at Luigi. One caught Luigi by surprise, making him fall on his back. He felt the warmth of the lava he was about to touch, and screamed.

"Don't worry, Luigi, I'll end your pain..." Lemmy giggled. "Say goodbye, Luigi." Lemmy waved his wand ten times, and cast a gigantic ball that hurtled Luigi to an opening into a wall. As he ran out of momentum, Luigi began falling into a deep pit, one he could never escape.

"Haha! Loser!" Lemmy laughed as the room returned to normal size. He grabbed a walkie-talkie. "I did it! I did it, guys!"

"Yeah, yeah," responded Morton, who was in a room far away from Lemmy's. "Listen. I'm trying to calm down these idiots, they're having an arguing fit."

Lemmy heard Morton put his walkie talkie down, and could faintly hear him shouting to his siblings, "Guys! Lemmy's got Luigi!"

The clown koopa heard everyone freeze, and then they all erupted into a fit of laghterand joy. "Way to go, Lemmy!" he heard Ludwig say. "Now give me back those ten bucks I gave you!" and other compliments. Morton picked up the walkie-talkie again.

"Nice job, Lem. King Dad wants to talk to you." Lemmy heard some rustling, and then his father's booming voice.

"Good job, son. I'm proud of you; knew you could do it." Lemmy smiled. "Did you fire up the hypnosis yet?" his father asked quietly.

"Mmm... yeah. About to," said Lemmy. He walked over to the gap where Luigi had fallen and presses a few buttons. "Okay, it's ready."

"Yes... good, good... now just to get Mario..."


	2. The True Meaning of Havoc

Mario was lying in bed, wondering.

_Wasn't there something I was supposed to do today?_

He decided that lying there thinking wouldn't do much good, so he climbed out of bed and changed from his night gown into his overalls and cap. He walked down the stairs from his room to the kitchen, where Luigi was reading the newspaper with coffee.

"Hey, bro," said Luigi. "I got a phone call from Peach; she's wondering where you are."

"Oh, right!" Mario bolted upstairs to put on his shoes. Of course, that's what it was! The butterflies quickly arranged themselves in his stomach, the way they always did when he thought out Peach.

Before Mario closed the door to leave, he added, "Have fun at the movies with your... special one." Luigi laughed at his comment, and turned around to hide his blush. Soon later, Luigi had left the house to go to the place he and Daisy would meet.

* * *

What a beautiful fall day it was outside. The chain chomps were growling, goombas stomping, and lakitus were... throwing. Mario admired the nice day it was as he went to the castle, where everyone was waiting. Peach was holding a special party inviting the fall weather, and lots of people would be there. Donkey Kong, Yoshi, Wario, Waluigi, of course, Peach, Elvin Gadd, and lots and lots of toads. Luigi and Daisy would be joining them after the movie.

And everything was well.

Until Peach disappeared.

She just left the sitting room, and no one noticed because they were having a discussion. Mario noticed, but thought she was going to the bathroom, to return soon.

But she didn't. And still, after an hour, nobody noticed. And that's when Mario began to be curious, so he tried to seize the discussion for attention.

"Ahem..." Mario cleared his throat in the middle of an interesting chat about Toadsworth's mother-in-law, which Toadsworth left the room for. Surprisingly, it worked. All the eyes turned to him. "The Princess is gone."

"She only left a few minutes ago, though..." one toad said.

"Time flies when you're talking about mother-in-laws," Mario replied. "She has been gone for an hour and... one minute, now."

"I can call her," Yoshi offered. No doubt, everyone was starting to get worried.

"No need," said a voice. Peach strode into the room like nothing had happened. Everyone sighed, but Toadsworth was loudest of all.

"Oh, Princess! I was very worried," he said, hugging her, even if he only came up to her waist.

Peach offered a faint smile. "Just some business calls to attend to; a princess never has a day off," she said, seating herself again.

With that, the discussion continued. Toadsworth did not leave the room this time, but instead buried his head in his hands. And everything was normal agin...

But Peach. She was not talking. Instead, she was staring directly...

_...at Mario._

She was not smiling. Her stare was unfriendly. Mario's butterflies suddenly vanished, and then Peach opened her mouth to say something...

Until DK chimed in. "Hey! Were are Luigi and Daisy? They were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago."

"Want me to call?" asked Yoshi.

"Please," said Toadsworth. Yoshi dialed Daisy's number, and his eyes inflated.

"Daisy, what's wrong?" asked Yoshi. Sobbing could be heard on the other end. "She'll be here in a few minutes," he said, and turned off his phone.

All havoc gave way. Screaming and shouting...

But Peach got up from her seat, and strided towards Mario, calmly as ever. "Mario, please follow me," she said, and left the room. No one noticed her, so Mario followed.

"What's the matter, Peach?" Mario asked. She didn't respond. She just kept taking those long, cold, inhuman steps up to the tallest tower.

When they both entered the room, she locked the door... which scared Mario.

"Peach, what are you doing-"

"So you've noticed Luigi has vanished... hm?" she asked. The voice did not belong to Peach.

This was not Peach. It was still Peach, but...

A different Peach.

"Y-y-yes, do you know what h-h-happened?" Mario stuttered.

Peach laughed. "Oh, yes, I know _exactly _what happened." What Mario just imagining it, or was Peach... backing him into the wall?

He was not imagining it.

"Mario, Mario... are you scared?" She laughed again.

"What are you doing?" Mario asked again. Without warning, Peach leaped at him. Mario fell to the floor; he was defenseless. And then she changed.

Her bright pink dress turned to a dark purple, her bright blue eyes turned to a horrible black... her long, golden hair turned to a dark brown...

"Is it not clear what I am doing?" she growled and kicked him.

"But... Peachy! I love you!" Mario struggled to get free.

"Haha..." Peach stood up, but Mario didn't dare to do the same. Her laugh was terrifying. "And Mario, if you did think I ever loved you..." She kicked him again. "...then I swear, I will kill you..."

Mario screamed.

"...because the only one I love is my Bowser." And she leaped at him again.

* * *

Nothing can disturb a sleeping yoshi sleeping on a shady cliff during a sunny day on Yoshi's Island.

Except for another yoshi.

"...oshi...i...yosh...yoshi..." said one yoshi, tapping the sleeping yoshi on the head.

"GET GRANDPA PANCAKE OUT THE BACK DOOR- oh, hello. Sorry, another nightmare." The sleeping yoshi snapped awake.

"There's something not right," said the other yoshi. "There is fire and smoke across the water," he said. "Follow me where you can see, Yoshi."

Yoshi got up from the ground and stretched. He followed the yellow yoshi to the highest cliff of the island, where you could clearly see the Mushroom Kingdom.

And it was in utter chaos. "Yoshi," said the yellow yoshi, "We got a call from that old inventor. He wants you to come to the island now."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

Yoshi yawned. What could he want with him? The last time he had seen Elvin was years ago...

"Yoshi! _Right now!"_

Of course, the entire Mushroom Kingdom was in chaos, so that might have been a problem. And Yoshi ran. As fast as he could, because he wasn't going to let anything happen to the kingdom.

* * *

**And... my first author's note. I felt the first chapter was too awesome to author's note. So please review everyone! I know how many people viewed, and only three reviewed! If you don't have an account, you can still review in that little box below and put anything as your name! I love feedback!**

**I need opinions: Should I change it to Revenge of the Mad Koopa or just keep the title how it is?**

**Oh. And if you think it's sorta violent, well, I can be a violent person while writing sometimes. And if you think it's dark...**

**...it's only going to get worse.**


	3. Ancient Artifacts & Sesame Street

Bowser stood outside of his castle.

His _new _castle, recently built, that stood proudly against the dramatic orange sky that had appeared ever since he had taken over the Mushrooom Galaxy.

"Haha..." Bowser laughed. "Mario doesn't stand a chance against this security!"

He opened the door and stepped inside. All the possessed toads were wandering around his castle doing chores. Instead of bright red spots, they now had poisonous purple spots, with purple robes instead of blue.

"Oh, right!" Bowser guwaffed. "There _is _no Mario to be against security! Mario and his idiot friend have been illuminated... and I have Peachy!" He climbed into the elevator and tapped the button for the top floor, the podium room. This is where he'd deliver an awesome speech, and then, because Yoshi and that wimp Elvin were bound to come, he'd awesomely finish them off with an awesome fight that would break the world record of awesomeness. No one would stand against him.

But one galaxy was not enough.

He needed _more_. More power. And he needed all power.

But he needed time. They were going to be here in a few hours... he needed more time...

"Kamek!" Bowser bellowed.

Kamek and his broom shot around the corridor after a few seconds. "Yes, Your Mightiness?"

"I want you to..." Bowser smiled at the thought. "I want you to slow down Yoshi and that old man that are coming here. Don't kill them. Just slow them down."

"Of course, Lord Bowser," Kamek replied, even though he didn't understand why Bowser didn't just kill them. _Probably for his pride,_ Kamek thought, and whizzed back down the hallway.

Bowser walked down the hallway and opened the door to the podium room, where he would deliver his speech. Now, the destruction and chaos phase of his plan was over. It was just a matter of time before he claimed the Gem... and then he would be unstoppable.

* * *

The Mushroom Kingdom was under chaos and destruction. In fact, the Mushroom Galaxy was under chaos and destruction. Yoshi ignored all the screaming citizens as he tried to find E. Gadd's lab.

But one cry stood above all the others. It was a high pitched scream. One that could only belong to...

A lakitu without its cloud.

It lied there on its back, between the screaming toads, rocking back and forth trying to get up. Lakitus could not walk. Their life depended on their cloud.

And Yoshi could not ignore it. "Hey! Get away from me!" it screamed. "Don't eat me! Some idiot in a green cap and ugly black overalls stole my cloud already!" The lakitu began crying.

Ignoring his cries, Yoshi picked the lakitu up and put it on his shoulders. "Can you hang on? I'll get you out."

Through a choke of sobs, the lakitu said, "You're going to help me?"

"Yes. By the way, do you know..."

Then he remembered; Elvin lived in Boo Woods. He took a turn onto a dirt road, which slowly disappeared and turned into plain woods. He could hear no more screaming.

And then he saw it. The huge building that looked like a black box. He stood at the front door and listened closely. "Where are we?" asked Lakitu.

"Um... I'll let you see for yourself. Please be quiet..."

"Rubber Duckie, I'm very fond of you! Doo-dee-doo!" could be faintly heard over the noise of running water.

Yoshi rang the doorbell and shouted. "Dr. Gadd? Are you in there?" The singing abruptly stopped and the water turned off. The door opened, and there stood the professor in a bright red bathrobe. "Hello, Yoshi. Please come inside... I didn't think you would get here for another thirty minutes. Nor did I think you would be bringing a friend..."

Yoshi stepped into the cold room. "Have a seat, I'll get dressed." He pressed a button on his robe which instantly transformed into a lab coat. "That's better. Now who is this?" he asked, pointing to Yoshi's back.

"I found him on the streets. Someone took his cloud," Yoshi replied.

"He was really ugly!" Lakitu chimed in.

"Ah..." Elvin seated himself in a chair. "A cloudless lakitu. I suppose we can look after him."

Lakitu cheered. "Okay, good. But I want to come with you guys on whatever big adventure you're on."

"Hmm. Yes. Good... but only until we find you a replacement cloud. Now, Yoshi... we're having what I like to call a SITUATION. SITUATIONs usually involve Bowser. All I know is that Bowser is close to claiming something... something very old and powerful..." Elvin closed his eyes. "Something deadly. I can feel it."

Yoshi shuttered. He could feel it, too; something in the air. Something horrible.

"And Mario and Luigi have gone missing. Bowser has done something with them. I do not know what. The only way we can find out is to travel to Bowser's new castle... and I know he has something waiting for us, Yoshi."

* * *

**I know. A little bit of a shorter chapter, but they're not all going to be like this.**


	4. The Beginning of the End

**Sorry for the long wait! With a large combination of being busy and being sucked up into the world of The Mole forum games, (which I am a contestant in! Take a look, it starts on November 10th 8:45 EST: fanfiction dot net/forum/The-Mole-Saboteur-They-Wrote/120795/) I am finally back with another chapter of goodies! I HAVE CHORTLES! Fawful would be so happy...**

* * *

"The nearest entrance to the castle is north..." E. Gadd said, studying his compass. "Or would it be... no, north is... it would be south... I think..."

Yoshi sat on the grass of the empty field, embracing the wind with his eyes closed. The sun was setting and the sky was a deep orange. Lakitu sat next to him, neatly arranged on a pile of leaves.

"Aha... it's upside down." The professor turned the compass the other way around. "So north is... that way."

After leaving the lab in Boo Wood, they had easily gotten lost when it had started to get dark. Now it was the next day, and they still could not find where they were.

"Maybe we should just go back," Yoshi said solemnly. "We can't beat Bowser every time."

"No," said E. Gadd. "Not even if we could find our way. I'm not sure if you understand the premises of the situation... even I don't, not completely. Bowser hasn't revealed his plan yet, but I suspect he will soon..."

"...being the arrogant dragon that he is," Yoshi finished.

And that's what happened for the next few hours, Gadd studying the compass, Lakitu fiddling with his leaves, and Yoshi still sitting with his eyes closed.

And no one knew that soon, everything would come to an end. And no one included Bowser, too.

* * *

Bowser Jr. was having a bad day.

First, he was pelted with melted cheese pellets by Larry. Then, he almost drowned in the toilet whenhe tried to flush it. Turned out he wasn't quite tall enough to hit the "hangy doo-dad."

And now his father was gone, out for a "business meeting" to develop a speech with his top-notch official minions like Kamek that would encorage his new Toad minions that working for him would be the right way to go. Not that anyone didn't believe in him after hypnosis; it was really just to reassure himself he was awesome, and now Jr. was left with a baby sitter.

And he was being ignored.

Bowser had told him that he could help with his master plan.

But no, instead, all he got to do was sit in the nursery while the baby sitter, a koopa, read their book.

The silence disturbed him. He saw mold spores drifting in the air; the castle was so dirty. Of course, he was the only one who hadn't moved into the new castle yet. Too bad it wouldn't be around for long; after this thing called the Shift that his father kept going on about happened, this world would be no more. The koopa turned a page of the book, and Bowser Jr. sighed.

Suddenly, the door was slammed open by none other than the supreme Koopa King, struggling to catch his breath.

"Hey buddy," he wheezed. "Sorry I left you behind. We've got to go; the Shift is going to start here in a few minutes. Pack your stuff, we've got to get out of here.

Bowser lifted his son out of his crib and stood him up on the floor, where startled, began getting his things together. Bowser got out his wallet and stuffed a wad of bills in the koopa's hand. "If you want to live past this hour, you have to be out of here in about six minutes."

Bowser Jr. scrambled to get his things. "Aha! There's my paintbrush," he squealed in joy as he picked up the invention he had stole from the professor years ago.

Bowser looked at the koopa. "This world will be consumed in a matter of hours. Just enough time to do my speech..." He turned his head to the koopa. "And if you want to live past this day, be at my castle by five."

"Daddy! Can you please help?" Junior asked.

Bowser's tone softened. "Of course." Bowser picked up his son and his belongings and rushed out the door, the koopa following close behind.

* * *

"Pie pie pie pie pie TOOTSIE ROLL! Pie pie pie pie TOOTSIE ROLL!"

Yoshi, Lakitu, and Elvin had finally decided to move on, singing these lyrics to a tune that sounded slightly like a bad remix of the 1812 Overture.

"Pie pie pie... pie..." Yoshi was wearing out. "I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!" Yoshi landed flat on his face. Elvin sighed and stopped.

"Hmm. I suppose we should take a break," he said.

"You think?" said Lakitu, who had taken impact from the fall being saddled on Yoshi's back.

Elvin didn't respond. Instead, he gazed out into the horizon. "His castle... look..."

Yoshi and Lakitu looked in his direction. You could just barely make out the shadow of a tall structure.

"I'm not sure if we have much time left," Gadd said. He squinted to get a better look. "No, we must go now. We have a few hours before Bowser utilizes this dark object... come."

Yoshi got up from the ground and stretched, hoisting Lakitu higher up on his back. They set off running.

"Are we... there... yet- OOMPH!"

E. Gadd landed face down in a shallow lake. Yoshi sighed. "Hold on, professor." He stuck out his gigantic tongue and ate E. Gadd whole, turning him into an egg and chucking it at the ground, where it broke to reveal a perfectly unharmed Professor E. Gadd.

"Why thank you, Yoshi," he said, dusting himself off. "A lake in the middle of an empty field. Gracious."

Yoshi scanned the pond. "We'll have to get wet to cross it..."

"I don't want to get wet!" Lakitu shivered.

"We won't... maybe... hmm, I learned this trick from Mario. If there's a small body of water... anyone got a Mega Mushroom?"

"Always got some power-ups on me," said E. Gadd proudly, digging in his backpack. He pulled out the gigantic orange fungus with red spots on it and gave it to Yoshi.

Yoshi ate the mushroom. Nothing happened.

"Um... Elvin? Are you sure?" he asked.

"Do you feel yourself getting a strange feeling in your stomach?"

"Hmm... actually.. yes."

Lakitu yelled and jumped off of Yoshi's back. The dinasour's red spots were getting bigger.

"The Mega Mushroom enhances maturity cells in your body by three hundred times to get you to grow to an enormous size temporarily. Of course, maturity comes with... all that fun stuff. So you'll also give off an amazing... stink..." E. Gadd coughed and pinched his nose. "No offense, Yoshi. But I know you understand." He gazed up at the setting sun to distract himself from the stench.

Yoshi nodded, he was already growing bigger, his voice growing deeper. "Wow! This is... so... fun..."

In a few seconds, Yoshi was at full size. "Now, watch this!" Yoshi got into the lake, which was only up to his toes. He ground-pounded.

"What does that do?" asked Lakitu, who was lying on the ground after the jump.

"Look," Elvin said, pointing to the lake. The water was slowly draining out to reveal a small opening where Yoshi had ground pounded.

"The water's going into the hole," Yoshi bellowed. But suddenly, Yoshi rapidly began shrinking to normal size. Before he could get away, he fell through the small opening.

"Help!" he screamed. E. Gadd grabbed Lakitu and hurried over to the opening where Yoshi had fallen underground.

"Yoshi?" he called. The voice echoed. "Yoshi, are you there?"

"E. Gadd? Is that you?" Yoshi yelled from the bottom of the hole. "It's really dark down- OUCH!"

"Yoshi! Yoshi!" Lakitu screamed. There was no reply, and then a high pitched scream came out of the hole, rattling Lakitu and E. Gadd's brain.

"WHO FLOODED MY HOUSE?!" yelled the strange voice.

"That's it," said Elvin. "Yoshi, we're coming!" And then, Elvin took a running leap into the tunneling hole, Lakitu screaming in his clutch.

* * *

**Longer chapter! :) If you've played a certain best Mario game in the world, then you'll find the super duper epical reference.**

**I may update very soon because I have a lot of ideas for this story, and I need to get them all out. Goooodbye for now and see you soon!**


	5. The REAL New Super Mario Brothers

**Hello pupples! I told you I would update soon. At least... relatively soon. *explodes* Thanks for reviewing, because I read them all and enjoy your support! On with the chapter!**

* * *

"Lakitu?" called E. Gadd. "Yoshi? Hello?"

The professor had hit the bottom of the hole only seconds ago, and had already lost everyone.

"Professor?" A voice answered in the darkness. "Is that you?"

"Yes," Elvin said quickly. "Where are you?"

"I'm... follow my voice."

E. Gadd got to his feet and started wandering to what he thought was the left. The ground squished beneath him. It must have been the water, he thought.

"Lakitu?" he asked.

"Right here!"

Elvin bumped into something that was definitely not Lakitu. It was long and... bouncy?

"Hello, professor," it said.

"Lakitu? What happened?"

"Haha, nothing happened, professor." Suddenly, the pitch of the voice started to change to something much higher. "In fact, I'm not Lakitu at all!" The figure laughed.

"...Who... where is he?" asked Elvin. He was visibly shaking.

"You want to know where Lakitu is? And your friend Yoshi, I assume?"

"Who are you?"

The figure laughed. "They're in my stomach," it said through a series of them.

"W-w-where are they? Really?"

"I ate them! In my stomach! I already told you!"

Suddenly, the figure came into view as hidden torches on the walls blazed to life.

"Hello, Professor Elvin Gadd. My name is Wiggler. You flooded my house. I want it back."

* * *

After dropping Bowser Jr. off in his new room, Bowser briskly walked down the hallway to the control room. He had just received an alert.

Bowser walked up to a door and typed in a 9-digit code. It opened to reveal a mix of brainwashed toads and koopas dashing around delivering papers.

A larger koopa with a red shell walked up to Bowser. "Follow me," it said. Then it walked into a room the side. Bowser followed him, and watched a gigantic computer screen showing a map of the basement. A certain part of the map was flashing red.

"We have received an alert of activity underground right before the entrance to the basement," said the koopa.

Bowser thought for a moment. "Couldn't it be that old wiggler that lives down there?"

The koopa hesitated and hit a few buttons on the computer.

"No. All she does is sleep and take baths. And we don't have any cameras installed before the entrance of the castle, so we'll have to see what's happening manually."

Bowser leaned on the side of a filing cabinet. "Dispatch a group of three to check it out."

The koopa nodded and typed in a command.

"And while you're at it, I want some cameras installed down there, too. You can never have too much security." Bowser stomped out of the room.

* * *

Elvin hated bugs.

Especially wigglers. The small flower on their head was completely misleading; if you got them angry, you were in for it. And this wiggler wanted Gadd to be in for it, as all her cubicles began turning red.

That's why he was on the cold earthy floor, quivering beneath the giant thing before he was made into a delicious supper.

"Hmm. Come to think of it, I'm not in the mood for Old Man tonight... maybe... tomorrow-"

The wiggler began coughing violently. "Darn it! I'm... dinasaur... and... koopa... intolerant... too..."

The wiggler coughed once more, sending Yoshi and Lakitu flying out of Wiggler's mouth in a pool of saliva, hitting the wall and falling to the ground.

"That was disgusting..." moaned Lakitu.

"I could have sworn I saw the large intestine coming up..." wheezed Yoshi.

The wiggler returned back to her normal yellow cubicles. "Which one of you flooded my house?" she demanded, stomping over to Lakitu and Yoshi. "Or was it Old Man here?" she asked, glaring at Elvin.

"I... I did... don't eat me... not again..." said Yoshi.

"I won't eat you. I'm dinosaur intolerant, if you didn't here me."

"I'm sorry, we didn't know... we were just trying to cross a lake to get to the castle up ahead. This horrible dragon lives in it and he's trying to destroy the world. If you don't let us by, you'll be dead by the end of the-"

"Shut up. The castle?"

"Yes, his name is Bowser-"

"I know how to get to the castle. We're right next to the basement, right now."

"Can you please show us?"

"Nope," she said flatly. She turned her back to Yoshi and walked forward a few steps. "No, no can do, sorry sir. Maybe if you didn't flood my house. But you did."

"We wouldn't have gotten here without fludding-"

"That's the point. I'm never going to show you, no matter what. So I guess you'll have to live with me, in this chamber. Soaked. For the rest of your life."

"The rest of your life will probably end in a few hours if you don't show us," said Yoshi.

Wiggler sighed. "My life is so miserable already. Always stuck down here." Wiggler walked towards the dirt wall. "Alright, follow me." She pressed on the dirt to reveal a secret opening in the wall. "You should be able to sneak in. That is, if they haven't discovered you already." She snickered.

"Can someone carry Lakitu? I'm exhausted..." Yoshi slumped on the ground.

"Fine, I'll carry your friend," said Wiggler. Yoshi handed Lakitu over to Wiggler, who made him a nest to keep him in, curling her segments and squeezing a little too hard.

They entered the small opening and started climbing a set of cold, stony stairs. A set of torches lined the wall.

"So this takes us to the castle?" wheezed Lakitu.

"No, it takes us to the airport," Wiggler replied sarcastically while slapping him against the wall in a way that could have possibly been on purpose.

The group was silent the rest of the time until all of the torches went out, leaving them in complete darkness.

"What happened?" asked Yoshi. Suddenly, E. Gadd was pushed to the floor.

"Hey!" said E. Gadd, struggling to get up. "I'm too old for this tomfoolery! Who did that?"

"Are you okay-" Yoshi's voice started before he was slammed to the ground also. Wiggler's scream echoed up the hallway, too.

"Who's there!" screamed Yoshi, before a bag went over his head, gagging him before anther layer of darkness came over him, closing his eyes.

* * *

"GOOD HEAVENS!" yelled Bowser. "KAMEK! MY LOLLIPOP TURNED INTO A TOOTSIE ROLL!"

Bowser flung the candy across the room before a goomba opened the door. "Bowser, your speech begins in one minute."

"One..." Bowser thought for a moment. "I haven't even prepared yet!"

The goomba shrugged. "You have to come now! People are waiting!"

Bowser grumbled as he followed the goomba out the door and to the back of a curtain with a podium.

"Go break a leg," said the goomba. Bowser nodded and stood before the podium before the hundreds of silent toads that sat before him, knowing little that the goomba meant that literally.

"Hello, my minions," he greeted. The Toads stood and bowed, then broke into a cheer. "Yes, thank you. I really do appreciate it."

It took the toads a few more seconds to calm down. "Now, I stand before you today to give you a better future... a future where your life will be... _good."_

Some began throwing flowers and some began clapping. Bowser silenced them. "But there's a problem..."

A huge overdone gasp escaped everyone.

"There's a problem," Bowser said again. "There are people who want to stop it. Stop your future."

The toads started panicking.

"Please, calm down," said Bowser. He growled when the toads wouldn't stop. "Please. And anyways... that's why I have them here right now, to kill them before your very eyes."

An unsure silence made Bowser feel uneasy. "I give you... ANCIENT DINOSAUR, RANDOM OLD CRAZY GUY, STRANGE PERSON WHO LIKES CLOUDS, AND AN OVERSIZED BUG WITH NO LIFE!"

A cardboard (YES! IT'S PAPER MARIO! JEEZ!) opening in the ceiling revealed the four rebels, dazed and frightened.

"Where..." Elvin didn't finish his sentence. One look at the cheering toads and roaring Bowser gave away the fact that something was wrong.

But Wiggler wasn't fazed. While Bowser wasn't looking, she crept up behind Bowser and gave him a good smack. Bowser stopped roaring. A scream came from the crowd.

"OH, YOU WANNA GO?" roared Bowser, right before Wiggler delivered another great smack right on he face.

"THAT..." Bowser fell over and paramedic-shy guys jumped onto the stage to wheel Bowser away in a gurney.

Wiggler laughed. "Loser," she giggled. Unfortunately, she had totally forgotten about Lakitu who had experienced the same pain Bowser had.

"Lakitu... are you okay?" asked Yoshi over the crowd of booing toads.

"No," Lakitu said flatly. Suddenly, the toads went silent.

"Oh, what now?" groaned Elvin. The side door to the stage opened, and out stepped someone in black overalls, a red bandana, and a red cap.

"Mario!" Yoshi began clapping.

"_Mario..." _Wiggler hissed. "Oh, I remember _you._ Tiny-Huge Island? Ring a bell?"_  
_

But Mario didn't respond. He was carrying a boom-box of some sort. "Actually..." the man said. "I PREFER TO BE CALLED MR. M!"

He ripped of the red mask he was wearing. A roar of cheers came from the crowd. "Thank you, thank you... but I won't be killing you today." Mr. M snickered. "My brother will... and here's his theme song!"

He leaned over and pressed the play button as the dreaded words, "I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT! JUST LOOK AT THAT BODY! AH!" came out of the machine. Mr. M scrambled off the stage as Mr. L came raining down from the ceiling.

"Mmm hmm," said Mr. L. He was carrying a frying pan. "Let's get to some bashing. Let me introduce to to my friend, the pancake squasho pan.

Walking semi-dramatically to Wiggler, Yoshi, Elvin, and Lakitu, the last words each of them heard were "WIGGLE WIGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE! YEAH!"

And then his face exploded with rage as the air was tinted with the smell of blood.


	6. That Green Fellow

**Hello, everyone... this chapter is where everything suddenly gets GOOD. You know.**

**I chucked in a ton of references. :D You know I like references. I doubt that any of you will find them all.**

**Anyways, here goes.**

* * *

"...hi...shi...yo...wake...oshi..."

The dino opened his eyes. He was on a moderately comfortable bed on a strange white cloud.

"Ugh... come on you stupid scenario writer! Wake up Yoshi and let's get on with the game!"

Yoshi's eyes snapped open with the help of a strange force inside his head that told him, "さあ！宮本は怒っているってことですね!"

It then occured to Yoshi that he was not lying in a bed, but actually sleeping on a cloud. A strange being in a blue robe and VERY long beard loomed over him.

"Yoshi. You are awake."

"What did you do with my friends?" Yoshi said sternly, abruptly sitting up.

"Haha. Do not worry for your friends. I have taken them to separate clouds."

"Wait..." Yoshi began. "No! This can't be Heaven! I'm too young to die!"

"Haha, no..." the figure said. "You are not in heaven. You are in the Cloudverse."

"What kind of balogny Japanese crap is..."

"Please. I can tell that you enjoy the bed. So just sit back and relax. I will answer questions."

It was true; Yoshi was longing to recline in the cloud more. And there was no point in arguing, since the person was obviously friendly.

"So. Ask away."

Yoshi thought for a moment. "Who are you?" he asked.

The being chuckled. "Oh, ho ho. Of course. My name is Merlon." Merlon began twisting his overgrown beard with his fingers. "I am an Ancient. I simply watch over the strands of time. A protector of the Universe."

Yoshi was clearly puzzled.

"No, not this universe. This is just where I reside, along with others. It is peaceful. In fact, we shouldn't call it a UNIverse. There are more than one, obviously. Let's call it a Multiverse."

"Okay... so how did I get here?"

"Oh, ho ho ho. Yes, a mighty fine tale. Also a mighty fine coincidence. Or was it fate that brought us together?" Merlon cleared his throat. "Well, you appeared to have a mishap with a fellow dressed in green. I watched the whole thing from my crystal ball."

Yoshi could not bear to lie down. Instead, he sat up, his fingers twitching.

"Yes. Anyways, this fellow raised a strange crystal into the air. Many colors appeared. Colors I have never seen before. Horrible colors. But yes, with this crystal, he vacuumed everyone in the audience into the crystal, and then took off with some kind of jetpack unnaturally built into his feet, carrying the crystal. He blasted off into the sky, and then..." Merlon stopped.

"And then what?"

"I had to look away. A vision that was clearly not meant to be viewed by any being happened. I looked away for several minutes, and when I looked back, my crystal ball was broken..."

"Why?"

"I...I do not know. However, I do know that whatever happened used a power older than time... and it had to do with the gem that the fellow was carrying."

"So? How did I get here?"

"Well. As I was saying, the gem vacuumed everyone in the audience except for you and your friends. Yes, at the last moment, I saw you four being flung into the air at the perfect velocity, and the next thing I knew, you were all flung into the Cloudverse." Merlon began twiddling his fingers. "Of course, the, um... the old man might have taken some damage."

"Where are they?" asked Yoshi.

"As I said before. In separate clouds. Would like me to take you to them?"

"Yes." Yoshi got out of bed, and Merlon showed him to a much larger cloud that held houses- yes, houses. Other Ancients dressed in robes bustled around. Merlon opened the door to one house labeled as a hospital. Yoshi followed him through the hallways, and Merlon opened a door labeled A-4 and stepped inside.

There was a series of other cloud beds. Some had unknown people on them, and three of them had Wiggler, Gadd, and Lakitu on them. A nurse woke them up.

"They have woken before you," Merlon explained. "I've already told them everything."

Yoshi hopped to the three with his companions on them, all in a row.

"You guys?" Yoshi asked. They were all awake.

"Hey, Yoshi," Lakitu cheered. "Good to see you."

"Yeah, hi, or whatever." Wiggler was not nearly as cheerful. "I would have rather stayed underground, thank you very much. Or thanks to the coincidence."

"Was it coincidence? Or was it-"

"Cut the fairy talk, wizard." Wigler broke him off.

Elvin was weaker. "Hello, Yoshi. As you can see, I've taken quite a blow. I'm afraid I can't get out of bed for a few days."

Wiggler had already grabbed Lakitu by the segments and was already standing beside Yoshi. "So what now?" she asked.

"Maybe a little less tight?" Lakitu wheezed, but Wiggler ignored him.

"I don't know..." Yoshi replied.

"Oh. Excuse me... but may I ask of a favor?" Merlon said.

Yoshi turned his head. "Yes?"

"Um. Yes. My friend, Merluvlee, she lives in these clouds, in a purple house... I was wondering if you could drop by this Training Machine for her... you know, I promised I would lend it to her."

Without waiting for an answer, Merlon gave Yoshi a white rectangle. "This is a... training machine?" Yoshi flipped open the rectangle. There appeared to be two screens on the inside. "Well, whatever. Looks real familiar. Come on, Wiggler."

She didn't repond, but followed Yoshi out of the hospital with Lakitu. "By the way, Lakitu..." she finally said as they were exploring the strange place, "we're in a CLOUDverse, so why don't you get yourself a cloud?"

"Hmm... oh, right! Yoshi! Can you grab a cloud?"

Yoshi leaned over and pulled a cloud from the air about the size of Lakitu when a strange man ran over and yelled at them. "That'll be 1000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000006000000000000000000 0900000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 00000000 coins for disturbing nature," the man said.

"What... we don't have that many..."

"Ha! 'Course ya don't, idiot! Put the cloud back, and you can take it once you have 1000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000006000000000000000000 0900000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 00000000 coins."

"Well, then..." Yoshi said, putting the cloud back. "I suppose we'll have to wait. Anyways, to this Merluvlee's house?"

"Right, about that..." said Lakitu. "I pressed this button on the Training Machine that said POWER. It lets me play this funny game! And if you hold down these weird L and R buttons on this weird file select page, you can play as the guy who stole my cloud!"

"Wait..." Yoshi said, looking at the screen. It showed a green man jumping across platforms. "Luigi? Luigi stole your cloud?" He sighed. "Wait... Merlon talked about a strange green fellow..." Yoshi suddenly grabbed the machine. "Shut it off! It could be dangerous!" he yelled.

"Jeez... fine..." Yoshi gave the Training Machine back to Lakitu, who shut it off.

They continued walking in silence until they reached a purple house. "Merlon said the house was purple," Wiggler said. They both walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

"Come in," a female voice called out. They opened the door.

Inside was a blue room, complete with a table and crystal ball. Behind it stood a tall woman. Without looking at her guests, she said, "Why, hello, young people. Not who I expected. But make yourself at home."

Yoshi and Wiggler seated themself on the crystal floor, as there were no chairs. "Tell me, travelers; who are you? You do not look like the people of this city."

"Actually, we came to deliver you your Training Machine," said Lakitu, who held out the rectangle.

"Ah! Yes! Thank you," Merluvlee siad, snatching the rectangle. "But please. Would you like your fortune read?"

Yoshi shrugged. "Why not?"

So Merluvlee started rubbing her hands on the crystal ball. "Spirits... come... show me the fate... of the young dinasaur..."

The ball glowed purple, and Merluvlee began mumbling the words:

**_The travelers seek the Shards of Light_**

**_To find them they must find their might_**

**_But there will be challenges, easy and hard_**

**_To break the gem into crystal_ _shards_**

Merluvlee stopped reading.

"Is that all?" asked Yoshi.

"Huh? No, I was just taking a dramatic break necesssary to build suspense." She continued reading.

**_The tyrant who_ _takes the gem for him as one_**

**_Does not know of what will come_**

**_Only the one who can touch the Sun_**

**_Will end the finale and save everyone_**

**_Do not trust the ones of betraying will_**

**_They will bid you many acts of ill_**

**_But this prophecy will not come true_**

**_Without help of the courage_****_ due_**

No one spoke a word for quite a while until Wiggler piped in. "You know what would help? If that was actually understandable."

Merluvlee, who was using her Training Machine quietly in the corner, answered. "The prophecies of this ball are never clear... Grambi, I really need to upgrade to Version 6 and a half... in the meantime, the riddles are for you to solve." She closed the Training Machine. "However, the first part is clear... you seek the Shards of Light."

"I don't even know what they are..." said Yoshi.

"Yes, well, there are four shards of light... if you find them all and put them together, something good will happen... I may be able to help."

"How?"

"Well, you see, long ago, I was granted the power to open portals to the other four dimensions... four dimensions. Four shards. See where I'm going?"

"No," said Yoshi.

"My theory is that each dimension contains a Shard of Light..."

"So if we search through each dimension..."

"...you may find the shards," Merluvlee concluded. "So, who's ready for space travel?"

No one answered.

"Well, if you want to 'save everyone' as the prophecy says, you'll have to." Merluvlee reached out her arm and blasted a hole in the floor. It started bubbling, and a slimy blue liquid started swirling around. "Double, double, toil and trouble... fire burn, and strange dimensional travel hole bubble... fillet of a fenny snake, in the caldron boil and bake..."

The blue liquid continued to swirl. "So. Jump in."

"What?" asked Wiggler in disbelief.

"Jump in. Don't worry, its not lethal. I think. Is the process of dissolving molecules, sending them through a wormhole, and assembling them together in another place dangerous?"

"Alright, fine..." said Yoshi. "Where will it take us?"

"Who knows. I'me just a crazy old lady. Now jump in."

Yoshi, standing next to Wiggler, who carried Lakitu, took in a deep breath.

And jumped.


	7. Gilligan's Island Gone Wrong

**Hello again! I told you I would update. And it's probably the largest chapter yet, heheh. Anyways, even if everyone has probably forgotten about this and no one will review, I will continue this story. So please enjoy. ;)**

* * *

Bowser sat in his empty conference room. His eyes kept darting towards the clock.

_They must be here soon._

Then back to the table. Then the clock again.

_Tick, tock._

"Tick tock could be the difference of life and death for my empire," Bowser said out loud. He looked outside at the navy-blood red sky. There were no stars. Not for millions of light years.

Suddenly, the door knob fumbled. Bowser stared at it, hoping that the person he needed would walk through. The door swung open.

It was Kamek.

"Oh, it's you..." Bowser said.

"Your guest," said Kamek, wheezing. "He tried to eat me."

"Where is he?" Bowser demanded.

Kamek didn't reply.

"I ASKED a question."

Kamek was frozen, like a statue.

"KAMEK!"

Bowser was up on his feet ready to punch the idiot's eyeballs out when the light went out.

"Alright. Alright. Is someone playing a joke on me?" Bowser growled. "Look, I do not want to be mobbed by Doctor Who Weeping Angels again."

Suddenly the walls of the room fell over like a cardboard cutout, only to reveal blackness on the outside.

"I DEMAND SOMEONE TO TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING!"

Then the floor shook, and Bowser lost his balance and fell as the floor started rising rapidly up into the nothingness. His desk started rolling off as well as his other furniture and belongings.

Suddenly a huge pink slide appeared.

"A slide?" Bowser said. "Well, nothing to lose."

He went and sat on the slide just as a ghostly white body appeared around it. "BOO!" it said.

Realizing that the pink slide was definitely not a pink slide, Bowser jumped off in terror. The Boo laughed.

"Ahhaaaahaa, Bowser. Still as gullible as always," it said, its long pink tongue dangling from its mouth. The Boo's eyes were dark purple and he wore a crown of the same color.

"King...Boo?" Bowser slowly asked.

"Yes, King Boo!"

"So you are my ally?"

"Ally? Hahaha. No. You were the one who failed to cooperate with me all those years ago when we went together to defeat Luigi and rule the world!"

"COOPERATE? WENT TOGETHER? YOU POSSESSED ME!"

"You _would_ have gone along anyways. Admit it."

Bowser was at a loss for words. "I..."

"Bowser, you are a fool. We are enemies. But for now, I fear that it is necessary to form an alliance. You are, I must say, incredibly powerful, as am I. So, deal?"

"One one condition: you destroyed my desk. I bought that at a Goodwill for the only twenty dollars in my pocket, and I don't have time to pop any more tags. I want another one!"

King Boo smirked. "Look, you're in my business. Doing favors is not how I run my business."

Bowser felt the strong urge to punch King Boo, but he knew that that wouldn't do anything.

King Boo seemed to read his thoughts. "It would be wise not to attempt to hurt me. Or else you may want to say goodbye to ruling the world."

"I will hurt you someday," Bowser steamed.

"Maybe. But not today. And if you do, you will regret it. But enough of this nonsense. I have made friends with some people... they will be glad to see you. They will use their armies and help you to destroy the uncorrupted citizens left. And of course that red and blue clad plumber that keeps destroying you."

"Oh, and then we can destroy the green one, too. Because obviously you haven't succeeded in that yet," replied Bowser.

"Don't test me, or there will be consequences. Good day."

"Wait! What about these 'friends'?"

"Oh, don't worry. That will work itself out on its own."

And with that, the King vanished and the room returned to normal, with Kamek still in the doorway. "And then he was all like BOO and I was like 'NOOOOOONOONONO' but he really wanted to see you and-"

"You are dismissed, Kamek," Bowser said.

"Of course, Your Aprubt-liness."

* * *

"Yoshi, young feller! Get up!"

Sand. He felt it everywhere. His face. His nose. His shoes. His underwear. Then he realized he didn't wear underwear and started doubting his hygiene.

And he also felt love. He loved everything. The sand. Himself. Whoever was calling his name. But it didn't feel like normal love.

"Get up! We don't have time for this."

_Sand? No, this wasn't right._

Yoshi tried to pull himself out of the huge sand hole.

"He's moving! Everyone, pull! On the count of three! One, tw-"

Luigi flew out and felt a surge of brightness. He was airborne for a split second, then he fell flat on his face. His eyes saw a hazy image of the Professor.

"Yoshi! Are you alright?"

For some reason, Yoshi wanted to hug the professor. He lunged and hugged E. Gadd.

"Oh, tarnation, I'm too old for this. Wiggler, could you-"

Then E. Gadd was free.

"Yoshi must be under the spell of this island."

"Yoshi! Snap out of it! It's a spell!" yelled Lakitu.

Yoshi shook his head and the sense of happiness and artificial love went away.

"What happened?" he said.

"According to the Game Boy Horror..." E. Gadd poked at a gadget he had. "Yes, I was right. The portal has taken us to the lost Nevermore Island. Apparently, this is where the first Star Shard is." He closed the device. "The island was cursed years ago so that anyone who would arrive here would never want to leave. Much like the magic of the lotus flowers."

"If you sit too long, you will become one with the spell," said Lakitu.

"We must hurry to find the shard before we all come corrupted," said the Professor.

"So where is this shard supposed to be?" Yoshi said, suddenly aware of his surroundings. A beautiful sunset lay before them, along with pinkish sand and a vast ocean.

"That's a good question. When I punch in the numbers and turn my calculator upside down, it says 'NO IDEA'," replied E. Gadd.

There was silence for a few moments.

"Don't stay quiet too long, or we'll all be cursed!" warned Lakitu.

"We should probably start looking, then," said Wiggler. "Where should we begi-"

Suddenly the sky turned dark. Something red burned up in the sky.

"What just... what is that red thing? It's definitely not the sun, and it's getting closer alarmingly fast," said Yoshi.

As it came closer it became clear that it was a rocket of some sort. It landed on the ground with a underwhelming BOOM, yet it missed E. Gadd's white lock of hair by a centimeter.

It was much bigger than expected.

"Criminy!" whispered Elvin. The door slowly started opening. Wiggler took her defense position, as well as Yoshi.

The door popped open, and out jumped a guinea pig.

With a space helmet.

"!" it said and scurried off. Then another jumped out, and another, and hundreds popped out, all with miniature space helmets.

"I'm-ah-allergic-" began Lakitu before he sneezed.

"Hold on... look," Yoshi said. Everyone's head turned to the door of the shuttle, which was rumbling loudly. The door popped open a final time, and out jumped a massive eight foot guinea pig, fully equipped with a space helmet, spike collar, and ultra ray gun.

"Oh. Hello," it said.

"Hi," Yoshi, Elvin, Wiggler, and Lakitu said in unison, though no one was sure if the massive rodent was friend or foe.

"Look," it said. "I don't want to play games here. I am under a schedule, and under strict rules from my master. If you would like to kill yourselves now, that might be the easier way out, even if my master wants you guys alive to control your minds. Don't worry, I know you wouldn't want that, so I would tell him that you all turned to dust in my presence. Yes or no?"

No one replied.

"Right. Sorry, no time for games."

The guinea pig readied its ray gun.

"By the way, the name's Owen. But you can call me Dr. O for short, that is if you were to live."

Dr. O began to fire his ray gun when by instinct, Lakitu yelled "Dr. O! Hahaha! I ruined your punch line!"

The other three glared at him and gestured towards Dr. O, who was glaring at Lakitu.

"Oh, Lakitu. The cloudless Lakitu. You know, Bowser would give you many clouds if you just surrendered now."

"You're working for Bowser?" Yoshi cried.

"Bowser? Goodness, no. I work for someone better than that lowly mudpie." With that, he fired his ray gun.


End file.
